Cranky Mommy

At 3 years and over 7 months, my son has finally pooped in the potty for the first time! I was begininning to think I would be sending him off to college in pull-ups. I am doing flips of joy in my brain.
So tomorrow (well, actually today, since it is so late) we are going to Target to get him his reward. He says he wants, of all things, a rolling suitcase. Whatever! I think knowing him, he will see a car and change his mind.

In a desperate move to find entertainment, inspire exercise (ha), spare myself and my son from boredom and give my air conditoner a rest this summer, I joined a local pool. The Hampden baby pool is still cool, but this one is a little more upscale.
I chose the Coldspring pool because it is close and although a little expensive, not horribly expensive (I joined late, but since my son is still 3, he can go for free with my single membership). And, if I can get anyone else to join who names me as a referrer, I get $25 bucks to spend at the pool café! Woo hoo!
So, if you live in Baltimore and decide to apply, I am pimpin’ for crepes (although, looking at myself in a bathingsuit in a full-length mirror at the pool today, maybe I should stay away from the crepes).
Both the people and the facilities themselves are very nice. I do need to post a little warning, though. I did see an older guy in a tie-dye purple speedo-type bathingsuit that kind of scared me ( not the guy, but that bikini-lookin’ thing!) And, a couple of guys had some scary super furry hairy backs, that were also a bit frightening. Oh well, that could happen anywhere. And, I suppose people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw… razors.

There are only 3 days left of school — two days next week, and one the week after (the last day of school is a school picnic with the parents, so that hardly counts). So basically, next Thursday is the last school day where I will have 2 1/2 hours to myself, until school starts next fall.
I think I will go insane.

I spent some time today trying to help find my friend find an afforable one- or two-bedroom place in Baltimore, for her to share with her boyfriend. I’m in real sticker-shock at the current rents in (formerly affordable) neighborhoods like Hampden, Charles Village, and Remington.
I remember 11 or so years ago, before I moved in with my husband, I lived in a shabby 3 story shared-house in the uppity neighborhood of Bolton Hill. It truly was a dump, but my share of the rent was a whopping: $135 a month!
Compare that with the current price of a 1 bedroom: $700 a month and up, for a modest one in Charles Village. Even in lower Charles Village. As much as I bitch about living in our under-600-square-foot-shoebox-of-a-rowhouse, I think we would be in horrible situation had we not bought when we did, when homes were still affordable here in Hampden.
I worry for my friends who still rent, if they will move far away for more affordable pastures. One friend has a 1 bedroom in Hampden for under $400, half of what it should rent for, but it won’t stay that price forever.
Which brings to mind the question: where have all the poor people gone, who didn’t own their homes? Have they moved to less desireable neighborhoods? Or, are they all packed in like sardines and sharing places, or living with their parents?

My son is usually very boyish. He’s a little guy, far from a big ol’ macho man, but he is truly all boy. He LOOOOVES trucks, cars and trains, pretending to build stuff, wearing his Ravens football outfit, making messes. And doesn’t like dolls or dressup.
But the past week or two he has been saying some, well… curious things.
Like saying I’m going to be a Mommy all day.
When I ask him what being a mommy is, he says, doing important things. And okay, well that makes sense. I do do important things, and it is nice that somebody noticed.
And then he wants to pee on the potty like mommy. And I think, well, that’s good, he will aim better and that’s less mess.
And then, at the park, he is playing castle. And he tells a mom standing next to the play equipment, that he is queen of the castle. And I think that is just damn funny.
It’s nice when kids are so young that they say funny things like that unselfconsciously. A doubt my son will be Queen of the castle when he is much older. Still I think I will remember that and use it to blackmail him when he’s reached puberty.

I just found out today that a registered sex offender lives one street away from me. A friend emailed me the information from the Maryland Sex Offender Registry. Several of his neighbors have children, and his backyard is very close to mine. Indeed, the entrance to his backyard is just feet from mine. There are 22 total registered offenders in my ZIP code, but this is very very close.
I don’t know what much of the details are of his offense, but I do know it is a “Child Sex Offender, 3rd degree sexual offense”, which could be many things… all varying levels of bad. A neighbor is trying to find out a little more information on this guy from the police.
I know these people have to live somewhere, I just wish it wasn’t within such a close proximity of children. Or at least, let their neighbors know! If I were Queen Of The World, I would make it law that these sex offenders should not just register, but should notify every neighbor by mail, within a half of a mile, that they are a sex offender. It is dishonest for these sex offenders to coexist with their neighbors without being forthright about who they are, putting on a front like they are just another “nice guy”.
And, I have been told, he “seems like a nice guy”. Ugh.

As I was in line checking out of the grocery store today, I saw the current People Magazine cover with Brooke Shields, her new baby and her older daughter. Although they all look okay, I was struck by how unnatural looking it is, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.

Part of it, I’m sure, is that she is wearing heavy, full evening makeup and is clearly not out for the evening with her husband. But the fact is that NO mother of a newborn and preschooler looks like that — uber fixed, rested, with no shmutz or spit up on their clothes.
Shouldn’t she be walking around in a fuzzy bathrobe looking tired, feeling fat and with engorged breasts, like every other mother of a newborn? Doesn’t she make you feel like crap because she’s a mom and 40 and looks so together? Well, she probably has a nanny and maybe it was a lot of posing and airbrushing, but I find that photo unbelievable.

To entertain myself I’ve come up with 8 thoughts she might have had when they did that shoot.

1)Work that Camera, Grier. Strike a pose, Rowan.
2)I think someone needs a diaper change.
3)Tom, I know she’s a babe but your little scientologist wife and kid can’t compare.
4)Now where did I put that bottle of antidepressants?
5) My undereye concealer really is hiding my circles.
6)I think my nursing pads are leaking.
7)I wonder if Bright Beginnings will cut me a deal on formula with this kid.
8)This bed is really comfy, it must be naptime.

Since this is a “Mommy” blog I suppose I need to write an obligatory mother’s day post. I don’t have a lot to say but here goes anyhow…
So far I have talked on the phone to my Mother, visited my mother-in-law, gotten flowers and candy (which I have put a large dent in already) and received a nice hand-made card, a joint project of my son and his father. I did get in a nice relaxing bath this morning that was only slightly intruded on by T.
Currently T is screaming at the top of his lungs because he can’t go in the bathroom with dad while he is taking his bath. He has sat for several time outs already today, and although he was well behaved earlier, he is in a crummy mood. It’s rainy out and we don’t have a whole lot planned for today. I was hoping my husband would take him out to the park, but that is probably not going to happen due to weather. He lost his chance to go to the toy store due to bad behavior. I would really like a couple of hours to myself to waste but I think I will have to wait until bedtime for that since he is no longer napping.
I wish all you mothers out there — a day of good behavior on the part of your kids, and pampering on the part of your husbands/significant others. I guess it wouldn’t be Mother’s Day if we had the whole day off, now would it?

The past week has been rather hazy.
Not in the usual way my mind is hazy (which it always is), but rather, my vision is hazy — everything looks like one of those flashback/dream sequences on a 1980s sitcom, where the edges of the screen are blurry because someone put vaseline on the camera lens to make it all “dreamy”.
The haze is due to all the… eye pus, yes, it’s gross but I said it, from my lingering pink eye (and can I say that has got to be the ugliest word in the english language and I hope to never type it again).
My son’s pink eye went away very quickly on it’s own and without medication, just like the Dr.s said, but mine seems to want to linger a while so I’m going to call my Dr. monday morning and demand something toxic and killing to microbes for my eyes. Not that having pink eye is so bad, but the fact is:

Everyone who doesn’t know me takes one look at my red eyes and thinks that I am on drugs.

I am, admittedly, a space cadet, which doesn’t help the matter. But I’ve been that way my whole life, so much so that some kid in 4th grade gave me the nickname Earth To Kira and another kid in Jr. High called me Stoner (long before I did anything illegal). So fumbling through my coupons, spacing out in line at the grocery store in a city known for it’s drug addicts, I just look suspicious, even with my son holding my had.
So, just to clarify, I have a grand pronouncement to make:

I am not on drugs! I just have pinkeye and I’m a space cadet.

There. Now the world knows and I feel better.
On a good note, though, my poison ivy seems to be slightly going away, and the prescription cream I got for it was the cheapest prescription I have ever paid for — $4.91 cents total. My share will be $1.22. Yee haw.

1)get teared up watching kids reunite with their parents on mushy reality shows on T.V. I was never that sappy before I had a kid.
2)oogle at baby clothes, and think Oooooh that is so cuuuute! It even creeps me out, when I do it. Thankfully, I put them back on the rack… I have no one to buy baby clothes for right now.
3)lift-and-sniff.
4)use vocabulary like Yucky. No-No. Potty. I sound like a preschool teacher.
5) clean a kid’s face with spit.
6) consider matching father-son or mother-son outfits. I know, it’s a horribly geeky thing to do, the kind of thing you see at the airport on families returning from a Disneyworld vacation, with mom, dad, and kids all wearing the same ugly tee shirt, hat and jeans. My husband will talk me out of it, I think.
7)Wear the same pair of jeans 3 days in a row
8)Keep that hand sanitizer stuff in my purse